Bwipo Discusses Mental Health Challenges Faced by Professional League of Legends Players

Ahead of his participation in Worlds 2024, I had an in-depth conversation with FlyQuest’s Gabriël ‘Bwipo’ Rau to address his recent struggles with mental health, alongside some controversial comments he made during a stream.

While it’s clear that there’s validity to his critiques of other professional players, the manner in which he expressed those thoughts was somewhat unexpected. He touched upon receiving assistance from a doctor and obtaining a diagnosis, prompting me to ask him directly about his experiences. Bwipo initially intended to discuss this before the Worlds event, but that opportunity has since passed.

It’s no secret that being a professional player entails significant physical and mental strain. To my surprise, Bwipo was very candid during our discussion, and he opened up about his journey.

Finding Balance Between Bwipo and Gabriël

Bwipo, I want to start by noting that we have two potential paths for this interview: I can stick to my list of questions regarding your year, MSI, and your journey, or I could set that aside to focus on your recent challenges. What would you prefer to discuss?

I’m fine with either approach.

What has been your biggest struggle this year, not in terms of gameplay but personally? Is there something you’ve found hard to articulate?

I think my greatest struggle has been… honesty. To myself and to the people I care about.

You mentioned that LS reached out to you. How did that interaction unfold, and what insights did you gain from it?

He expressed concern for my well-being, given our long-standing friendship. He contacted my doctor, and they discussed some matters, although I’m not entirely sure how they connected initially. Through LS, it became clear that he was encouraging me to have a conversation with my doctor about what might be going on. He even went through my game VODs to analyze my situation.

If LS hadn’t reached out, I might not have understood what was happening to me. I’m really grateful to him for that.

If you’re comfortable, could you share what you’ve learned from this experience? Do you feel it has made you a stronger person?

I’ve learned to pay attention to my personal well-being: how I eat, sleep, and behave. It’s easy to rationalize one’s actions, but ultimately, taking responsibility and being accountable should also include recognizing those variances. That’s a vital lesson I’m learning — being someone with ADHD, I tend to be impulsive, so I strive for improvement and ensure my decisions are beneficial for me and those around me.

I’ve observed that on FlyQuest, your involvement in games has shifted from earlier this year to the latter part. It seems you’re allowing the rookie players more opportunity to shine. Do you believe that letting younger talent take the lead has contributed to your growth as a player?

I think it’s more of a return to my roots.

Bwipo facing TheShy at Worlds 2018

I was always the one who wanted the spotlight, saying, ‘Come and get me.’ Historically, my carries would thrive when I took that approach. I believe Massu and Quad are exceptional at carrying games when I do that. Inspired also plays a crucial role for us, and I’m comfortable being a supporting player.

How has your experience with FlyQuest shifted your mindset as a professional player? Do you think that in trying to become a major carry on Team Liquid, you lost a part of your essence, and have you returned to your foundational style?

Absolutely. The player I tried to be didn’t align with who I am. Part of the magic in my gameplay is my ability to carry from unconventional positions. That decisiveness and confidence has marked my gameplay from the beginning, and I felt I lost that as I struggled to appreciate my own style and approach. I received feedback urging me to adapt to other players’ methodologies instead of developing my own.

Working with FlyQuest has allowed me to reclaim that. I’m my own player, and the staff has been incredibly supportive, giving me the freedom and confidence to embrace my role. Even when things don’t go well, they recognize my risk-taking approach, and they accept that. Being on a team like this is invaluable.

You’re known for being a role model in the content creation space, particularly regarding your streaming and insightful explanations. What keeps you engaged in professional play despite the immense mental strain it brings?

Many people I care about have made sacrifices for me to pursue my career as a pro player, and my long-standing goal has always been to win Worlds, which still drives me. I’ve participated in a lot of significant games, and I consider it a privilege. I’d rather compete in high-stakes matches and lose than not participate at all.

Yet, I’ve felt that I haven’t fully realized the potential I’ve always seen in myself. My confidence and strengths are often masked by inconsistencies due to the risks I take. If I can lock in my performance, I can genuinely rank among the best globally. Many people recognized that potential in my first year.

Most importantly, the person I care about the most has invested so much in seeing me succeed professionally. I feel I must perform admirably at Worlds.

While streaming is enjoyable, it’s not something I can sustain daily as a pro player. I often find myself responding to opinions or discussions that might frustrate me or amuse me, even when they’re not understood by others. My point is, streaming is an interpretation of me, and while all people have various facets, I don’t always feel comfortable sharing all of them with the world.

I hold deep respect for my viewers and fans. Everyone has their own lives and emotions, and I value that deeply. However, I don’t think I’m ever entirely comfortable sharing all of who I am. It’s typically brief, after which I prefer to return to being the player people admire, which isn’t something I can maintain every day as a pro.

Bwipo LCS trophy kiss — Stefan Wisnoski/Riot Games

Bwipo celebrating after winning the LCS Summer 2024 title

You compete on stage, then you have a post-game interview or a conversation like this, presenting a persona — it’s enjoyable, rewarding. But once that’s over, you can take a breather for an entire week without that pressure. As a streamer, you must go live almost every day, and as someone who identifies as an extroverted introvert, sustaining that can be challenging. I would have to compromise on the quality of my streams.

(Note: Bwipo had an important message for fans at the conclusion of our conversation)

After Worlds, I plan to delve deeper into this topic. I’ve realized, especially afterward, that Worlds should be a celebration, and I don’t want to divert the focus onto myself since I’m just one of many players in the Championship. Each player here deserves recognition.

I choose to focus on the event and those who contribute to its magnitude rather than on myself. After Worlds conclude and the content drought sets in, I’ll be more than happy to discuss my experiences, feelings, and reflections. For now, however, it’s all about the World Championship. Then, we can chat about Bwipo.

This interview has been adjusted for brevity and clarity.

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