To all Netflix users who have contributed to The Emoji Movie’s rise to number one, remember: those who have a penchant for hell will not find a place in heaven. Seek God.
In 2017, I made the mistake of sitting down in the theater to watch a new animated movie starring TJ Miller and James Corden. Despite the clear indication of some underlying sadomasochism within me, I stayed until the soul-destroying end. The film felt poisonous and utterly pointless, like a cinematic gauntlet that I had to endure.
My brain chemistry shifted that day. I had watched many terrible movies before (Jack Black’s Gulliver’s Travels being the worst), but I had never experienced such intense anger and frustration; could a children’s movie really have such corrupt underlying themes?
Despite their reputation, not all bad movies result in a negative viewing experience. A prime example is The Room, which has gained a cult following and is often enjoyed by crowds during multiple viewings. However, this film is not comparable to The Lego Movie, as it falls short in every aspect. It lacks humor, creativity, and a meaningful message, instead solely serving the interests of companies such as Spotify, Twitter, and Dropbox, which are constantly shoved in the audience’s face.
Reasons to Stop Watching The Emoji Movie
Despite only receiving a 6% score on Rotten Tomatoes, The Emoji Movie is currently one of the top 10 movies on Netflix in the US and is even holding the number one spot on the chart. Some viewers have praised the film, with one saying it’s “finally getting the recognition it deserves”and another calling it “surprisingly great”. Have you gone crazy?
If you haven’t already watched it, please don’t. Spend your time doing something more enjoyable, like slowly removing your fingernails one by one.
Unfortunately, if you are curious, the film centers around Gene (Miller), a Meh emoji residing within a boy’s smartphone. After losing control of his emotions and causing chaos, Gene embarks on a quest to repair himself (yes, it’s a rather unoriginal take on Inside Out). Along the way, he encounters Smiler (Maya Rudolph), Hi-5 (Corden at his most unbearable), and Poop (played by none other than Patrick Stewart).
Despite its attempt at being entertaining, everything about this animation falls short. The visuals are garish and unoriginal, and any logical thinking unravels the entire world it presents (where real people exist alongside animated characters through YouTube). The humor is lackluster and as enjoyable as experiencing a famine. This film is the ultimate example of excessive product placement, shamelessly promoting apps to young viewers. It would be more beneficial to open a daycare in the bustling Times Square.
Upon its initial release, the film grossed over $200 million worldwide, solidifying its status as a financial success. Additionally, it has remained on the streamer’s chart since December 2023, as children’s films have a tendency to perform well on the platform.
The truth is, there are plenty of superior choices out there. Currently streaming are fantastic films like Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse, The Mitchells vs the Machines, and Matilda. There’s no need to settle for subpar content. And if you happen to be an adult… let’s just say, even if you decide to watch The Deer Hunter, you’re more likely to take a chance on Russian Roulette after enduring The Emoji Movie.
In the interim, discover additional new movies and TV shows available for streaming this month.
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